Ritual for the Dearly Departed

A Ritual to Honor a Departed Loved One

by: Christina Rosso-Schneider

The veil between planes is at its thinnest this time of year. Because of this, it’s the perfect time to reflect on loved ones who are no longer with us. This ritual is a sweet and simple way to celebrate and remember our loved ones who we’ve lost. You’ll create an altar for the person or being you’ve lost, alongside collecting a jar of memories. You can wait to make the altar until Samhain or whenever feels significant (i.e. the date of the loved one’s passing, a special anniversary, etc.). You can keep it up just for the day or year-round. I have a permanent altar for my dog, Kaylee, and I continue to add objects and offerings to it.

Tools:

– Altar of some sort

– Personal objects of your loved ones or objects that remind you of them

– Candle

– Marker or carving tool for candle

– Matches or lighter

– Crystals or herbs you like to work with and/or remind you of your loved one (optional)

– Glass or mason jar

– Small paper slips

– Writing utensil

Ritual:

– Create an altar in your home to honor your loved one. Most surfaces and spaces will do, though I suggest a sacred area that won’t be knocked over by pets. I have a shelf in my living room dedicated to my dog, Kaylee.

– Add photos, ashes, clothing, or any other objects that remind you of this person or being.

– Take your candle and write or carve the name and birthday of your loved one on the bottom of it. This helps to connect the candle and its energy to them.

– Take a few minutes to meditate on your loved one. What would you say to them if you could? What would comfort them? Dress the candle with these words or symbols.

– Place your candle on the altar and say out loud what you’d like your loved one to hear. Say it however many times feels right (I usually repeat it three times). *I place crystals such as rose quartz and amethyst around the base of the candle to send love, harmony, and peace to the departed.

– Light your candle.

– As it’s burning, let yourself recall all of your favorite memories or experiences with this person or being.

– Write down these memories on the slips of paper and place them in the mason jar, saying a prayer in gratitude for your loved one’s time on the Earthly plane.

– If you’re doing this alongside friends or family members, allow any guests to contribute their own memories to the jar.

– Place the jar on the altar beside the dressed candle.

– At the end of the day or whenever feels right, read through the written memories, either alone or with a group of loved ones to celebrate the moments shared with the departed. You can also add memories to the jar throughout the year.

If your loved one has recently passed, you may want to leave the candle lit while their soul journeys to their resting place. You can also snuff or blow out the candle whenever you’re done collecting and sharing memories. Each time you visit the altar, meditate on your loved one and say the words you want them to hear before relighting the candle.

Christina Rosso-Schneider lives and writes in South Philadelphia with her rescue pup, Atticus Finch, and bearded husband, Alex, where they run an independent bookstore and event space called A Novel Idea on Passyunk. She received an MFA in Creative Writing and MA in English from Arcadia University in 2016. Her debut chapbook, SHE IS A BEAST (APEP Publications), was released in May 2020. CREOLE CONJURE, her first full-length collection, is forthcoming from Maudlin House. Her fiction and nonfiction work centers around gender, sexuality, and fairy tales, and has been nominated for Best of the Net and the Pushcart Prize. When she isn’t writing or working at the bookstore, she leads various writing and occult-based workshops.

Join Christina on The Wild Wonder podcast where we’ll discuss the power of ritual, and specifically how to perform a few during the Fall season. Visit patreon.com/wildwonder to join the conversation live or listen to this episode on the Wild Wonder Podcast on Spotify, iTunes, and SoundCloud. Be sure to “follow” to receive notifications when episodes are made available.